The "Stupid" Friend

Oh how I miss you! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year when it comes. I’ve been gone due to overload. I’ve been going through it for the last few weeks but I know things will get better. Most of my stresses have been draining me mentally. The biggest one happens to be from some heartbreak I’ve recently been experiencing. As I venture off into  this “mood” that has totally off tracked my days, I’ve realized something about the people I continuously speak to, ‘They ain’t shit”.  As most of us hope that we have friendships that we know can be lifelong, trusted and judgement free, were dead wrong. I’m only saying this because in my time of need, no one seems to be listening. I feel.

I’m not one of those friends, I’ll talk, take you away, answer your calls at 3 am, literally run to your rescue and prepare for the fight if need be. But I do judge. I can’t understand fully but I’ll atleast try my hardest to put myself in your shoes and listen even when you can’t stop talking about it. Why? Because your HURT. Once that is all said and done and you go back to the madness we’ll speak as if what you just been through doesn’t exist. So you’ll become “the stupid friend” because the situation isn’t relevant anymore.

In all realty, we never talk about the things that made us once happy when were mad. We speak about all the things that have us in this rage that makes us so HURT. That’s how you become “the stupid friend”. You leave out all the good details and have me believing another. I’m gulity. Are you?

This also brings me to Love and Hip Hop on vh1. Emily B. See everyone swears she’s “the stupid friend” ie: Chrissy and Olivia. But what we see in blogs, magazines, and twitter lol, doesn’t say much about the man in the home. Don’t get me wrong now, I would’ve pull a Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez on that ass already, or a Bernadine from “Waiting To Exhale”. LMAO. Yes Fab is a dog and a cheat but he’s someone else when he’s home because we don’t see or hear the nice part of him. So let’s stop judging cause we don’t know.

After today I will longer speak of the bad in a person, happy or unhappy, without the expressing of the good. Not saying that I didn’t do it with my current delimma, but not enough. And that being said anyone is clearly allowed to judge me until I do the opposite. What’s the purpose of the benefit of the doubt, if there isn’t something to back of the benefit. Being that we don’t know I’ve offically become “the stupid friend”. And my friends “they still ain’t shit” because that’s how I feel.

Are you “the stupid friend”, know “the stupid friend” or once been “the stupid friend”?

From a Dark girl…

In the mornings while at work, when I get the chance, I love to look at the blogs I follow and comment if I can before my boss sees me.. LOL. As my eyes scanned the page I came across A pretty review: Dark girls by Mickie Char’et from Pretty Girls Rock Dresses about the upcoming documentary called Dark Girls.

I must say this really hit home because I’m a dark girl.

Yup that’s my parents blowing out my candles on my 22nd birthday looking like 2 year old’s.
Ok now this explains why it hit home. My mother’s tone was always an issue growing up. My two other siblings are of lighter skin tones like my mother.
My Brother
My Sister



Ok now that you have a little insight on the family… My mother told me a story of when I was 2 years old when her, my brother, and I were out one afternoon, an old friend seen her with us and, the woman commented on how cute we were and then asked “Why is she so black?” After my mother responded and told her that my father and I were the same complexion and walked off.. I turned to ask my mother, “Mommy why did god color me black?”
The only thing that made me “different” was my hair and it being longer for a dark skin girl. It started young for me and although I can’t remember this, I certainly know what its like to be a woman of color. And being dark toned isn’t to be exempted because society is judgemental of all color. It’s like taboo. I don’t want my children to experience what I did when I was a child. It’s like taboo.

Stop by and Check out the review.

After a While
Veronica Shoffstall
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…