Category: Life

Good ol’ September


Can I share my day with you all?
I’ve been able to wake up at 5:00 am or 6:00 am without an alarm clock for the last few months until this morning. Little did I realize that it was raining. Rain makes sleep amazing. I wanted to get to work at 7:00 am but let’s just say I made it at 8:00 am.
Made a cup of tea; Lipton black tea with two sugars and just a little bit of milk. Packed my lunch, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and jumped in the shower.
Used lotion instead of coconut oil on my skin, because I was rushing, made the bed (because my mother lives in my head), put on my dress and thought damn, I can’t wait to have a partner to help me zip this damn dress up lol. I’m unsure why it was unusually difficult to zip my dress this morning, I have not gained a pound, actually lost a few.
Stepped in the office, no music, no podcast, and silence for a good two hours while actually doing work early because it’s a new month.
My energy is pleasant. I’m good.
Left for interview number one around 11:00 am, that turned into two interviews, and because I felt extremely positive about it, I took the scenic route to the 2nd interview.


And what would you know, the 2nd interview turned into two interviews as well.
See what happens when you pray, LOOK AT GOD!
Things I plan on doing this month;
Cook |
I’m going to be more domestic and cook. Lol I’ve saved so much money by making a casserole on Sunday that I’ve had for lunch everyday. So, I’m going to figure out what to make for next week. I have a bag of coleslaw but I don’t want to make coleslaw so I need to use it, any ideas?
Travel |
I need to use my vacation time so I might end up somewhere this month. I’ll surprise myself before my semester starts. Probably jump on a bus, but flights are cheap after labor day so maybe the south.
Read |
I think I said I would read 10 books at the beginning of this year. Hmmm I’ve only read 3 and a half. Yes, Half. Hopefully I can incorporate more reading at night, but I’m full time this semester, we’ll see.
Run |
I ran once for the month of August. It was a poor run because my breast was tender, and the bigger the chest, the more it moves. Very uncomfortable. I think I’m going to schedule my runs so I can’t make excuses. The seasonal change will have my body going crazy so I need to maintain my health.

Any September plans?

Authenticity


There are days when I felt as if I was suffering with imposter syndrome. I mean my job makes me feel like this everyday. It’s as if to ask my clients “when will you all realize I’m hurting just like you?” But I’ve learned that I have to be the example they never had. So I put on my Sunday best, walk in with my head held high, listen and respond when asked to. For the sake of the children that need a better example, I’ll be an imposter.
August always has a way of reminding me of who the hell I really am. It’s my true authenticity. It’s who I am, and I won’t change it. Now to accept and acknowledge it. Beside the fact that my nails aren’t done and if it weren’t for these two interviews tomorrow, my hair wouldn’t be done, its obvious that I’ve been going through something. August has definitely reminded me of a few things, that I fail to accept about myself.
Vulnerability |
I would have never admitted that I cry in the shower when I am frustrated and overwhelmed just two years ago. I felt that it was weak of me since I’ve always been known to be strong. Well now that I let the cat out the bag, I’m sensitive about my shit. I cried in front of a man, beside my father, for the first time last year, and did it again this year, TWICE. Why? Because I couldn’t pretend anymore. When I’m sad, when my feelings are hurt, when I need a hug, when I need an escape, I cry. It’s apart of the transitional phase. I’m accepting it. In mutual conversation with friends, I’ll say “girl I cried myself to sleep”, while waiting for them to become frantic but they aren’t use this vulnerableness. I may not have a “person” to vent to, because energy does not need to be passed on, I’ll cry it out, internalize it, and say talk about it later. I’m proud of my vulnerability because it was once so hard to do.
Resilience |
When I’m stressed, my neck hurts or my body breaks out. Well last night, my neck was on fire and my body started to break out. The last time I experienced this type of breakout was maybe in 2013, it’s been awhile. But as I get older, the challenges are much different. I’m on at least two interviews per week since my company closed. Saving is a huge priority, so happy hour is not an option lately, lord knows I need a drink. I’ve been in some trying times over the last couple of years that allows me to think and move different. But during this time, my resilience is notable. Once I’ve reflected on some pass situation, I come to notice that I really get through it. So this too shall pass.
Timing |
This year has taught me all about timing. However, I’m struggling with coming to terms with timing. Timing is everything. Lately, I’ve been wishing that something’s would happening later instead of now. Change is hard to accept. However, current changes are necessary to time. It’s all apart of the process I guess.

Through it all, I must be honest, August of 2016 has been good to me, not as bad as I assumed it would be. Two more interviews tomorrow, what a way to start September! Wish me luck.

Currently

Time | 11:22 PM

Eating | Crackers and Cheese. No I am not on a diet, it’s convenient food.
Watching | YouTube, and then Power in a few minutes.
Feeling | Fatigued. After my Skype meeting at 5:30 this afternoon, I immediately jumped in the shower and fell asleep by 6:30. Explains why I am up currently.
Thinking | About this month and how tired I am. I’ve been hustling. I’ve been to Manhattan and Brooklyn more times than I can remember within this month. I completed my third interview for the week this morning and I am praying that one of them work out. Because if I am honest I prayed for this. Look at GOD.
Reading | Terry McMillian – I Almost Forgot About You. Although this book isn’t in my age range, the lesson I think I am getting out of it so far is; telling the people you love/loved that you love them. The love lesson is based on relationships and I am happy that I used the few opportunities I had to tell the men I once loved or the one I love, that I love them.
Anticipating | Sweater season and the end of August. The one thing I love about the North/ East side is the change in season. It’s awesome. I don’t like it crazy cold but as long as it’s comfortable. End of August post coming soon.

7 days left, let us Pray!