Category: Love

Dedication Mode!!!!!

Just a couple of months ago, I woke up one morning and decided that I was going to make major changes. I had a lot going on with family, friends, my love life, and WORK. I’m naturally a strong person but some days I truly wish that I had someone that could be strong for me. But no one said it would be easy.

Just recently I got the biggest smack in the face that I already knew would happen, but because of my denial I ignored it. I was trying to get back into school to finish my undergrad and with some financial issue, I have to put school on hold again.

The day I  found out that I had to put school off, I came home, made a cup of tea, and cried.
Believe me when I say, I don’t cry, not unless I’m really hurt, and yes this hurt me.
I’ve been planning my life out for the last two years so I can finally have this goal in action. I don’t give up and I won’t but I just wish at times this I could’ve won since I’ve lost many battles lately. All this madness is apart of life and I’ve learned to accept that I will win some and lose some.

Some may not believe in resolutions, but with dedication, its possible.

I have managed to keep two goals this year,
(1) I’ve lost 10 pounds, well over the course of the year, by not eating after 7pm.
(2) Treating myself more, I’ve spent more money on myself then I realized over this year.

But for 2013,
(1) Less planning, more fun. Starting with Vacations. I only went on one successful trip this year. For the new year, I’m gone with the wind.
(2) Instead of complaining, I’m going to work. I will be on full dedication mode for my weight loss challenge. Birth control does not work for me at all, and for every time I take it, my weight skyrockets, and I was forced to take for health reasons. So enough of this shit.
(3) I may start a YouTube channel, I just love it. Its the reason why I’ve been neglecting my blog. I should be ashamed of myself for that but this will change too. Like I said I’m on dedication mode!
(4) I am finally adding some color to my life. I said I was going to cut and color my hair last year but I chickened out because I am afraid my hair will fall out. But I got some inspiration. Pictures coming soon.
(5) Buy the things I say I want on my list. I write a list every 6 months with my wants. I procrastinate on that list because of the prices. LOL nothing is cheap on that list but I’m atleast striving to check off half the list.

This will be a journey worth going on. I hope you’ll ride out with me. Any change for your new year?

Spoken Truth

I woke up this morning wearing my heart on my sleeve. And it’s clearly broken.

For once I don’t want to be strong. I want to let go of these emotions that I’ve been covering up behind my greatest feature, my smile (besides my hair). Well from today on I will cover my wounds and allow them to heal until they become scars.

The point of this is, we tend to care about what others think of us. Just a couple of weeks ago, my best friend and I were having a conversation about a friendship that I openly decided to continue although the circumstance of how it had temporally ended for the majority of the summer was one that would make you rethink the friendship. During our conversation, I had said to her that I had suspected that the person was raving to the world of my personal business I felt comfortable sharing with her. My best friend then asked me ” How can you be so nonchalant about her telling others your business?” My response was merely, “I rather people know the truth about me then a lie”.

No one should be afraid to be who they are and to hide from the truth. And today my truth is I am heartbroken and yes I will be in the gym in the morning and having ice cream later that night

Good bye June, Hello July!!!

I’m a hot mess sorry. I haven’t written a post since May and for reasons I couldn’t begin to state. But I’m back and I’m here to stay. I wouldn’t want to use my blog to complain about every day things in my life, although I should use my blog for my personal reason, but I’ve learned over the last couple of months that somethings are better left unsaid. I come to realize that it is absolutely okay to completely cut people off, say no, ignore calls, when I’m upset keep it to myself, treat myself, go out more, and be more about me! I’ve been through some tough times these last few weeks. I’ve reconnected with some old friends, made new ones, and lost some.

Just these past few weeks have made me a much better person regardless the circumstance. Its just a part of my hiding. So please bare with me things will be much different believe me. I’ve been checking on all of you. I have a lot more to come loves! Summer is here!