Cliché to do the new year / new me post bullshit but there’s no new me. I’m just adding to the manuscript.
It’s almost a week into the new year and beside drinking water like I said I would, I had no problems recently saying how I feel to someone whom maybe I shouldn’t even had given attention to. It felt good though.
Beside my sadden Sunday, I actually enjoy sitting alone at happy hour. It’s better than purchasing my own bottle and drinking my sorrows away, that I don’t believe in, happy hour allows you to drink what you can afford. But I enjoy sitting at the bar reading through archives of my favorite bloggers. Some of you are connecting with me. It’s almost spiritual. It’s also giving me an opportunity to plan out my move, hopefully by the beginning of next year. New city, new “me” (maybe).
I didn’t want to be alone for New Year’s, well since I have never really brought it in by myself anyway, I jumped up and brought it in with my two amazing long time friends at church. Church is always good. What happened after church, well, I didn’t do anything strange for some change. I came in at a reasonable hour. Slightly inebriated. But I was good. And I looked good.
I praise myself about my 43 lbs. I need to tighten up my stomach but I look good. Yes, let me toot my own horn, (toot toot).
It’s been almost a week… What’s “new” ?
I have learned a lot. There were many tears because a lot has happened. I thank God for all the tears. There were days I thought I was possibly suffering from depression. One minute I was up and the next I wasn’t sure if I’d be happy again. But I had a lot of support and encouragement. I have been blessed with an amazing friend that I was able to share the year with. Someone who changed my life drastically. I am forever indebted to them for their patience. This year has been tough.
There were nights I didn’t have dinner. There were days I didn’t have a dollar. But there were friends who feed me, and provided what they could. I thought I was losing out on fun because of the lack of funds. Although, I started a new job with a higher salary than my last. Things were difficult but it was a change that I am happy about. I needed it. And this is only the beginning.
Despite the difficulties of life and love, I have learned to let go, to communicate more, something’s I cannot control, its okay to be sad, its okay to be disappointed, its okay to love and not receive love, your family isn’t your burden, and always love yourself more. There is much more to say but these notions define the trials and tribulations of my year.
2016 resolutions, yes I do resolutions,
Drink more water
If I don’t like it, I will say so
Lose 10 to 15 more pounds
Save more money
Finish spring semester smoothly
Take a trip for my birthday (currently planning)
Be more active on my blog
Tell the people I love that I love them
Give love one more try
This may seem simple but its not! There will be days when it will be tough again. But we choose the energy that we bring into our world. I am no longer letting unwanted energy come in the way of my happiness.
Happy New Year!
It was an interesting year. I must give myself a pat on the back because I’ve changed a lot. And honestly, I’m scared of change. But going through what I’ve been through this past year, I have learned that change will always come. And starting now… Continue reading “Just before it starts…”