I was in the air when the 2020 New Year started on the East Coast. With 40 minutes to spare before the West Coast New Year, I sped down La Cienega Blvd, trying to get “home” to kiss the once, love of my life. Making it with 10 minutes left in 2019, I parked, ate, smooched and woke up in California. I thought 2020 was it. I thought to myself what better time than now.
I was brave.
I put my effort into seeking a job on the other side of the United States, away from all that I knew.
I stopped fearing heartbreak and gave in to the love that I just can’t stop feeling.
I had plans, until I didn’t.
I started the new year literally 40 lbs lighter, happy in love, ready for the challenge, and eager to get it right. But boy oh boy, does life throw you lemons.
1/29 – we decided that the East Coast was the best option
2/22 – our relationship ended
3/20 – stay at home order took effect
4/11 – #YEAR31
5/15 – Rejection hurts
6/6 – I rode through the streets of Bowie, MD internally begging myself for forgiveness
7/16 – I was sure that I was depressed
8/6 – my “bia bia” turned one, children bring me joy
12/12 – found my “career purpose”
10/1 – I dealt with my surroundings
11/25 – I have a new family
12/31 – I’m writing this post.
Sometime at the top of the year I started this post. For months I tried to find the words. I got stuck between transparency and fear about anything I wanted to say. I wanted to spill my heart out about how emotionally painful this year has been for me. But that would be selfish to ignore the one thing we all have in common – A SHITTY ASS YEAR.
I’ve learned to be more present than any other time in my life because planning made this year harder than I expected. I loved on my friends and family in ways that I didn’t think could be possible. I was reminded that despite heartache, I am always loved. I’m grateful and growing.
It wasn’t all bad.
2/5 – paid my biggest debt
5/5 – cut my credit card debt in half
8/5 – jumped my credit score
12/5 – saved $4k more than I did last year
I made lemonade because life is generous. I won’t start the new year with a drawn-out plan because planning hurt my feelings more than anything in 2020. So, 2021 continue the lessons, I’m ready.
Happy New Year