Life is Generous

IMG_5183

I was in the air when the 2020 New Year started on the East Coast. With 40 minutes to spare before the West Coast New Year, I sped down La Cienega Blvd, trying to get “home” to kiss the once, love of my life. Making it with 10 minutes left in 2019, I parked, ate, smooched and woke up in California. I thought 2020 was it. I thought to myself what better time than now.

I was brave.

I put my effort into seeking a job on the other side of the United States, away from all that I knew.

I stopped fearing heartbreak and gave in to the love that I just can’t stop feeling.

I had plans, until I didn’t.

I started the new year literally 40 lbs lighter, happy in love, ready for the challenge, and eager to get it right.  But boy oh boy, does life throw you lemons.

1/29 – we decided that the East Coast was the best option

2/22 – our relationship ended

3/20 – stay at home order took effect

4/11 – #YEAR31

5/15 – Rejection hurts

6/6 – I rode through the streets of Bowie, MD internally begging myself for forgiveness

7/16 – I was sure that I was depressed

8/6 – my “bia bia” turned one, children bring me joy

12/12 – found my “career purpose”

10/1 – I dealt with my surroundings

11/25 – I have a new family

12/31 – I’m writing this post.

Sometime at the top of the year I started this post. For months I tried to find the words. I got stuck between transparency and fear about anything I wanted to say. I wanted to spill my heart out about how emotionally painful this year has been for me. But that would be selfish to ignore the one thing we all have in common – A SHITTY ASS YEAR.

I’ve learned to be more present than any other time in my life because planning made this year harder than I expected. I loved on my friends and family in ways that I didn’t think could be possible. I was reminded that despite heartache, I am always loved. I’m grateful and growing.

It wasn’t all bad.

2/5 – paid my biggest debt

5/5 – cut my credit card debt in half

8/5 – jumped my credit score

12/5 – saved $4k more than I did last year

I made lemonade because life is generous.  I won’t start the new year with a drawn-out plan because planning hurt my feelings more than anything in 2020. So, 2021 continue the lessons, I’m ready.

Happy New Year

– Amanda

Author: Amanda

She Came | She Saw | She Conqured

3 thoughts on “Life is Generous”

  1. Happy New Year Amanda! What a freaking year 2020 was on so many levels. Like Wow, we made it. *air hug* Congrats on achieving all your financial milestones! And cheers to making lemonade out of lemons because you’re absolutely right, life is so generous. xo

    Like

  2. 7 months have passed and this post is still resonating. Last year was a very shitty year and this year is sorta proving to be the same, but it’s important to seek out the good in it all. Because there’s always something to be grateful for. Always.

    Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

    Like

What have you Conqured today?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s