I think it’s extremely unfortunate that my reason for always returning back to my blog is whenever I am unhappy. But, these last couple of years haven’t been the best. Have they been the worst, no, but I wish for more enthusiasm.
In my last post, I asked to be patient with me because I’m going through something, I’m busy with work and school, and I’ve decided to relocate my life to the south. I’m not sure if I ever said it here but I always told myself that I would leave as soon as I get my degree. I’m two classes, a second interview, a potential job offer, and a craigslist apartment sale away from making this happen. I’m still on a high about visiting Ghana, and to be honest I’m dealing with heart break again. I fear that I could deal with a spurt of depression again so I was forcing myself to not sleep so I wouldn’t dream, yeah heart break sucks. To turn this around, I choose to look at this differently, there is no coincidence in experiencing this heart break at the same time since last year. So, I’m talking about it to release it, crying it about it because it’s sad, being angry because parts of this makes me mad, but accepting this because I’ve learned more about myself, love, and forgiveness. I’m making lemonade out of this.
March has ended and April is here.
I get to refresh my year on April 11th. It will be my 29th birthday and I’ll be exploring my potential new city. My excitement is through the roof because I usually manifest the things I want, so hopefully things work out. Although I have tons of homework to complete, I do have a few posts scheduled. I’m working on my Experience of Ghana post and a random rant coming soon about some shit I seen on the train, and the black community and domestic violence. Yeah, I’m pissed.
I’m going to clean my house or watch YouTube all day, schedule my bills to be paid, get some more homework done, and make dinner/lunch for the week.
2 thoughts on “April, the musings of March”
Heartbreaks can be so detrimental because we are literally mourning the loss of the presence of a person. It’s often equated to mourning the death of someone and suggested that it’s handled in the same manner. I do hope that you allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling whenever you feel it. Bottled up emotions and feelings are never a good thing and can usually cause more harm than good. Cry if you need to, scream to the air, curse their name, smile, etc. But feel it — be present in your emotion and just release it.
Enjoy your birthday today. Allow yourself to celebrate how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. This is your last year in your 20s girl! Make it count. (I know you will!) Happy Birthday!
Some days I want to scream and other days I can’t help but think about their own suffering. But time heals.
Thanks for these words !!