He has feelings too

(He’s the Gray)
I thought that I was trying to overcome an emotional battle with love mentally until an old friend called me over the weekend. 
Skipping through memory lane, this old friend, I crushed on. Loved him up actually. I was 10 when I met him. I thought he was a dork. He was a nerd. He wore big glasses and liked weird stuff. He wasn’t the average boy from the neighborhood. Now that I think about it, I guess because he was doing everything to impress me.
Wasn’t the best looking, but I was so excited when he asked me to be his girlfriend. You could see the blush through my highly melanin skin!
During our puppy love, he was being a fast little boy. Talking to everything walking. Thought he almost broke my little heart. But I never experience anything greatly negative with him. I was 13 years old, what the hell did I know? He was my first boyfriend. My first kiss. My first good bye.
He was literally the boy next door and at around 15 years old he moved. Needless to say, we kept in contact from time to time. 
After a few years into college, he’s telling me that he has a daughter on the way. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Where did the time go? I once use to feel something for this boy. But I quickly accepted that he became a man. I was still happy for him. 
Fast Forward to 2015, a random hello turned into “I’m not sure what to do”. 
I don’t know what it is, but my “ex’s” always gravitate to me after time. Coming to me for all kinds of advice. But because I know the God I serve, I still answer my phone. I listen and answer when I am asked with honest intentions. 
However, he was sad. Lost in a storm. It was evident. He couldn’t hide it. When I put him on hold as I spoke with clients over the weekend, If it were 5 minutes he waited. He was asking for answers. But I knew I didn’t have them. I wanted to be the one to listen. Not to solve it. I can barely solve the unknown in my current love life. How could I answer for him? But he was reaching. 
So I used my pain to make him laugh. Lord knows I’m in pain right now. I supported his decisions. Told him if he needed to separate from his current relationship to grow that I support him. If he needed someone to talk to don’t hesitate to call me. I praise him for being honest with his heart. Most men are taught to be tough about love. Love isn’t something to be tough with. Love is Love. Its as simple and complicated as that. No one asks for a broken heart. No one asks for rejection. No one asks to be left alone. No one asks for the situations they have experienced with love. 

To him; Its the first day, and tomorrow won’t be easy, neither will Wednesday, but after time the days become easier. Will you reach for her? Yes. Just make sure your not playing through the moment because, she has emotions too. 

Published by Amanda

She Came | She Saw | She Conqured

3 thoughts on “He has feelings too

  1. I've got to give you props for being there for your ex, especially after your relationship didn't end so well. Forgiveness is something that I really struggle with sometimes. By the way, thanks for stopping by my blog today and I hope you're enjoying what's left of your weekend… 🙂


  2. I'm with Dee. I've struggled with forgiveness and was finally able to forgive and let all of the wrong go that has happened between us — but I realized that I couldn't be their friend. For good reasons though.

    Kudos to you for being there for him and being honest with the situation. I'm sure he's extremely grateful for you.


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