After a While
Veronica Shoffstall
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

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i HATE dating

Although somethings are better left unsaid but I HATE DATING!

I’ve been single for a few months. So I said I’ll start dating a little. Nothing major being that my family happens to be in love with my old beau and we have history in simple terms! So I reconnect with some would’ve been and some new guys. BIGGEST MISTAKE. See I’m not the type to ever go in my past but I should’ve known better. What was the reason why we stopped speaking again?

Earlier today I get a text saying “SO YOUR NOT GOING TO PICK UP YOUR PHONE.” … Halt, take two steps back, re-read! Now we haven’t gone on a formal date yet, nor have we had that many conversations for you to be upset about me not answering, I only have one father who can talk to me anyway he feels, and last but not least I have NO husband.

It took me TWO minutes to register what I was reading and being that I was sure that I wasn’t in a relationship. Regardless of the level of a relationship, don’t question me unless your my parent or my husband since we share our lives together. Yes we can have an argument and I’ll hang up and your calling me and I’m not answering, so you send me a text, but wait, I’m SINGLE. So who in the HELL (excuse me) are you to question me?

A lot of the blogs that I follow are married woman, and yes I adore reading them all. They give me the hope and inspiration to believe this will all stop one day, although marriage isn’t perfect (23 years: my parents). But the great part about this, although I’m clearly ignorant about the text, Thanks to HTC once again… He’s BLOCKED.  If he is like this now, what does it say about him if we were to have a relationship? Avoiding the abuse before it starts.

Any suggestions or thoughts on this, do you hate dating too?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Although I’m at work on my Thanksgiving (I gotta do what I gotta do), its an OK day for fall.

This  has to be the one thing that I love about living in New York City, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Although in all my years in NYC I’ve never physically gone to any of the parades, I can still see it on TV 🙂 . I really have a strong dislike for crowds. I can tolerate them but I avoid it as much as I can.

Like all the past years, I don’t have the turkey and stuffing in my home, but we do have the Oxtail. 🙂 I know I love my Oxtail. My parents being from the Caribbean and all, I had no choice growing up.

It isn’t all about the food like most people make it. It’s about the connection with other people. I’m big on holidays; Valentine’s, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthday, Anniversary, Cinco De Mayo, etc. LOL. Like I use to tell my previous beau, “I love you, and I know you love me, but you don’t show  me love 365 days like you should so show it on the holidays.”  Although I don’t want to make an excuse for the obvious, we don’t see our families so often so we make holidays the reason. And that’s just fine with me!

I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I’ve seen many family members disappear out of my life and it’s fine because I am truly thankful for the ones that have stayed and the new ones that have appeared. I’m blessed with all of my stresses and struggles. God gave me life and I’m living!

Happy Thanksgiving!!
What are you thankful for?