I chose…

“And even after all the pain my heart has endure from you these last few months, today I chose love so I can be strong for you. This too shall pass. It won’t be easy, everyday will be trying. Somedays you’ll wake up and cry. You won’t have to beg me, even in spirit I’m here for you.”

A post that will eventually turn into tears.


Just a few weeks ago, I felt as if he’d taken my heart and threw it across the world without fear. I’ve been in pain since. I wake up some mornings trying to find peace of mind. Seeking an understanding that I just won’t ever get. Because deep down, explaining his intentions would be nice but it will continue to hurt me. I love him. But that’s not all I feel. I’m disappointed, I’m confused, I’m lost, I’m alone, and I’m hurt.


Last night in my dreams, I was reminded of all the emotions I’ve been going through for sometime now. I screamed things that I couldn’t verbally say to him or I just wouldn’t say to him. Tears awoke me this morning, followed by the words I need to let him go.


But today he reached out to me. Letting me know that the hero he’s always praised has passed away. His father, his best friend. I cried for him. Although I never met him, the love in his voice when he’d speak highly of him, was one of the reasons I fell in love with him.


I can’t be mean, although there is reason to be. Today I chose love, forgiveness, prayer, and strength. I will step outside of what I feel, and be there. If not in person, in spirit. 
From your friend.

Okay so about Paris!

I was excited as this month I’ve been looking for a web developer to help me revamp this blog. I’ve been writing post daily in my phone to add to the site but every time I’m about to post something interrupts me. But lets talk about summer.

 

Since I have been missing off the charts, I’d like to share my trip to Paris in May for starts!

 

Adrian, Shani, and I
Shani is my BFF, and we talked for months about going overseas. I saved right after buying my macbook in October last year and decided that Paris is ! We booked in February for MAY! Adrian’s birthday was a few days after our trip so it was a trip designed to celebrate our birthdays. I’m in April, Adrian in May, and Shani in June, so PERFECT!

 

We got to see the Eiffel Tower at night when it started to light up, it was beautiful!Wouldn’t trade this trip and all the craziness that happened for the world.
I’m super ratchet but that’s me!
Enjoy! More to come talk to you soon!