I chose…

“And even after all the pain my heart has endure from you these last few months, today I chose love so I can be strong for you. This too shall pass. It won’t be easy, everyday will be trying. Somedays you’ll wake up and cry. You won’t have to beg me, even in spirit I’m here for you.”

A post that will eventually turn into tears.

Just a few weeks ago, I felt as if he’d taken my heart and threw it across the world without fear. I’ve been in pain since. I wake up some mornings trying to find peace of mind. Seeking an understanding that I just won’t ever get. Because deep down, explaining his intentions would be nice but it will continue to hurt me. I love him. But that’s not all I feel. I’m disappointed, I’m confused, I’m lost, I’m alone, and I’m hurt.

Last night in my dreams, I was reminded of all the emotions I’ve been going through for sometime now. I screamed things that I couldn’t verbally say to him or I just wouldn’t say to him. Tears awoke me this morning, followed by the words I need to let him go.

But today he reached out to me. Letting me know that the hero he’s always praised has passed away. His father, his best friend. I cried for him. Although I never met him, the love in his voice when he’d speak highly of him, was one of the reasons I fell in love with him.

I can’t be mean, although there is reason to be. Today I chose love, forgiveness, prayer, and strength. I will step outside of what I feel, and be there. If not in person, in spirit. 
From your friend.


One thought on “I chose…”

  1. I'm proud of you for being able to quiet the negative feelings in order to make room for more positive ones. Although I think you've made the best decision you could've possibly made for you by letting go of this individual. I applaud you for your strength there and your strength with being there for him (but not overtly so) in his time of need. You're a great person and one day you'll meet someone who complements, respects, and reciprocates that. And listen to my I'm awesome anthem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoYu7K6Ywkg


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