Amanda

Currently

11:33 AM, sitting at my desk at work, reading blogs due to my printer having a network issue, there’s not much I am able to do today.

I am super hungry but my stomach has been bothering me for a few days now so I am afraid to eat food. They only have greasy Chinese food to offer where I am located and I rather not.

Listening to nothing. I decided that I needed some quiet time. Usually I’d be playing an informative podcast but I need silence. I am living through my thoughts right now and it’s a needed.

Excited about my upcoming trip to Washington, DC. Although I said that I can’t make any trips happen for the rest of the year, this is a local trip I guess, so the expense won’t kill me at all.

I recently looked over my expenses and praise myself for the saving I’ve been doing. I have a plan in mind for my finances, but with life’s everyday ups and downs, it does alter. However, I think I might be on schedule for the moment.

I’m not as amused as I’d like to be about an upcoming interview but I have learned to no longer turn down interviews. It’s needed for growth. It helps me practice my charisma.

Last but not least, I am working on a few posts for the month of May. April’s festivities didn’t allow me to do much on the blog. However, I’ll have more time in May. I’m doing one summer class and will be enjoying my summer as planned. Exploration NYC is in full effect!

What’s currently happening with you?

To the 16-year-old girl sitting across from my desk

High school is tough. A lot of impressing people who you won’t remember in 10 years. You try so hard to impress the third guy that made you feel “beautiful”. The attention is definitely an experience. But there’s more to the attention, you need your education.

Continue reading To the 16-year-old girl sitting across from my desk

May

Today was really gloomy. The rain didn’t help with my mood. I needed a big hug because lord knows I’ve been hurting something serious. We all have things deep down that aren’t settling with us. This one has been a year too damn long. I took the plunge last night and asked someone who I really want to hold on to forever, to let me go. The thing about vulnerability is when the damage is done, the recovery is greater. For me, the hardest part is teaching yourself how to love yourself again while waiting for normalcy.

My emotional intelligence is to blame. I feel. So I can feel the situation as it is happening. I watched this person emotionally try for one whole year, and still could not completely figure it out. Even the last time we were together, it was all there.

So all I have left to say, short simple, and sweet;

One day, it will all be normal again. The pit in your stomach won’t exist, and if it ever does again, I hope because you’re in love, happy, and creating the life you want for yourself.

During my very sleepless night and the silence that lingered until I fell asleep at 6:00 am, I finally understood the saying, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me”.

What a way to start May.