May

Today was really gloomy. The rain didn’t help with my mood. I needed a big hug because lord knows I’ve been hurting something serious. We all have things deep down that aren’t settling with us. This one has been a year too damn long. I took the plunge last night and asked someone who I really want to hold on to forever, to let me go. The thing about vulnerability is when the damage is done, the recovery is greater. For me, the hardest part is teaching yourself how to love yourself again while waiting for normalcy.
My emotional intelligence is to blame. I feel. So I can feel the situation as it is happening. I watched this person emotionally try for one whole year, and still could not completely figure it out. Even the last time we were together, it was all there.
So all I have left to say, short simple, and sweet;
One day, it will all be normal again. The pit in your stomach won’t exist, and if it ever does again, I hope because you’re in love, happy, and creating the life you want for yourself.
During my very sleepless night and the silence that lingered until I fell asleep at 6:00 am, I finally understood the saying, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me”.

What a way to start May.
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