Losing Track of Time

Do you remember planning your blog post? At the top of this year, I kept a note on my phone about all the posts I wanted to create. Laughing about it now, I planned to talk about Valentine’s Day, oh how shitty it was this year, thank GOD for not talking about it. You guys don’t deserve all the chaos of a day that should be surrounded by romance. The point is, with all the planning I lost track of time. Plus, still trying to be an authentic blogger, sometimes life just happens.

But anyway, here I am. Showing up as authentic as I can be at this moment. With a whole bunch of shit going on. Nothing bad but just busy as hell. So, a few updates:

Grad school-

So, I really need to understand for those who went to grad school, how did you make it? I’m over it! What if I went to law school? What is education about anyway? I’m teaching myself everything and I am so unsure if I’m doing a good job. I’m winging it, for real.

I was accepted in 2019 and put it off a year to see the relationship I was in through. Which would’ve been relocating to LA (I talked about it briefly, maybe I’ll explain when I’ve completely grown from that – still growing). Went to school in the fall of 2020, hated the cohort structure that I thought I wanted, re-applied to another school I was avoiding for the sake of ego, and now they are challenging the mess out of me, and I love/hate it, but it’s what I wanted. I’m trying to decide if I should take my time to graduate or go all out, that’s a matter of time or more like deciding this by January.


During the lockdown months, I had the time to sit and think about why I’m anti-NYC. Besides the shitty (literal) sidewalks, the garbage truck juice on the street, urine scented rat-infested subways, and traffic everywhere, I was running from myself. Honestly, all the above is what New York City is including the amazing skyline. It’s my home but I just couldn’t find home in myself. Thinking about relocating meant internally that I would “find” myself. Whatever the hell that means, I was wrong. I may never stop hating this city but it’s the reason I am the woman I am today. So, relocating, it’s not happening anytime soon unless it’s a GREAT opportunity. I can navigate this city with my eyes closed and maybe I’m not navigating the city the way I should. If you need a tour guide and restaurant tips for your next visit to the city, I AM STILL HERE and I will try recommending all the good stuff until further notice.


More on New York City, it’s the best place to build on my career aspirations until otherwise. I’m still considering changing careers but I kinda got a promotion, I’m working on policy, and they rack my brain daily about it, I know it’s the thing I want to do, so I’m considering just sliding into public policy since I’m getting the experience as we speak. But GOD works in mysterious ways. I’m always looking for some career aspiration and sometimes my intuition just guides me. This morning I listened to a podcast, and she said I should seek a high-profile project to jump-start my career moves for the new year. Y’all, I can’t talk about it much (all the confidential stuff signed), but I can’t wait to share the doors that are going to open from the current high-profile project I’m on! I applied to this thing not thinking anything of it, just wanting the opportunity to interview, and man, this is about to jumpstart my career goals for 2022! God is placing me; I really enjoy what I do and am excited for the wild career adventure I’m about to take myself on.


Since you guys are my internet cousins I’m sharing. I am dating. But I’m not telling just yet what’s really happening. Why? I have the worst dating experiences written on here. Like, one of y’all couldn’t pull me to the side and tell me sis stop? Luckily, I go back and read to see how far I’ve come so it all works out I suppose. Give me a few months, but I’m happy and scared as hell. Trauma and damage are the devils, but we are healing so this time should be healthy.

Well, that’s all for today. I have some more to chat about in the upcoming weeks. What’s been going on with you all, although I’m still reading and commenting?

Published by Amanda

She Came | She Saw | She Conqured

2 thoughts on “Losing Track of Time

  1. loooove updates like these, and congrats on the new career venture! hopefully you can share in the future because it sounds so exciting! last time i was i NYC was in 2018 and it was so much fun but i know it woulda been better with your recommendations. i’ll make sure to hit you up if i ever am able to travel comfortably again :/

    sending lots of love!
    Xx http://theactivespirit.com/


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