Being Present

Upper West Side, Manhattan, NY

I spent most of yesterday in a training about divergent thinking. Listening to the facilitator, I started to think about what time or space I need to flow through my creative process. Not much of an aha moment but, mornings seem to do it for me. I’m usually in whatever thought fresh off of waking up, that I may need to jot down. I’d been rummaging through my thoughts & memories to realized that I am not as present as I should be. Still dealing with the what ifs at the start of this year to the what will happen next in the future, I’m in limbo. I felt like I was failing at life sometimes, but the good ol’ Instagram algorithm will always align with my universe.

“…We’re not failures just because life doesn’t unfold according to a certain set of SHOULDS written by a society who generally never lived them out either.”

– Vienna Pharaon

I came across this post and immediately it made sense. My timing isn’t your timing and my life will never be your life. What I do with my life is, learn from others and hope they can learn from me. I placed a great amount of expectation on myself to prove that I am worthy to others while ignoring my list of WINS. Hence explains why I’m eager to seek new beginnings all the time. Moving, a new job, a new partner, a new car, another trip across the world, won’t change the journey, it only changes the path.

See you in July, I’m using June to be present.

Published by Amanda

She Came | She Saw | She Conqured

6 thoughts on “Being Present

  1. Great post. I seem to be having this issue myself. I ignore my own wins very often because I’m not exactly at a place in life that I envisioned for myself many years ago. I thought that I’d be out of Philadelphia, living it up in a big house. Although I’m working toward moving, I feel like I’ve spent too much time idly dreaming instead of doing. I’m now in a position to make my goals a reality and I still find that I’m dragging my feet at times. Another thing that I realized is that in pursuing goals, sometimes we acquire others that deviates us from the paths we set to achieve previous goals. Distractions, I guess. Our previous goals become a thing of the past and we find ourselves just simply living, while still dreaming about the what ifs. Have to let that go and just do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Blogging started out as something therapeutic. Not a financial tool to make money. Im happy to see that I can come, read a blog, and not be met with an advertisement to purchase something. Use the blog to express yourself. I am here for it. I fee like I have read your blog before. You look very familiar.

    I have expressed these feelings as well. It’s ok to celebrate others wins, but self comes first. I notice I do that myself, I am also working on acknowledging how far I’ve come and learning to root for myself. Which is hard for me. But the journey to self discovery and appreciation is rough but worth it.


    1. Hi Kay, Thank you for reading and sharing your journey as well. I’ve been in the blogging space for a long time now so I’m sure we’ve passed through a few times.


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