August – The Pressure

At the beginning of the month, I made the decision to give into my wildest dreams. It’s only a dream because I’ve procrastinated doing this for years. But since I’ve put myself on this “flexible” timeline to do this “thing”, the pressure is on. I’ve shared this “thing” with a few folks but since, some have inquired about my steps and sharing suggestions that I really don’t want. That’s the thing about pressure, I truthfully want to do this at the pace that works best for me. Because of this a huge part of me is in a constant state of anxiety and I’ve committed to attending the gym or riding my bike two/three times a week because it’s the only thing that seems to cool my nerves. Sis (I am Sis) has a limited support system and needs to find alternatives that assist with this “thing”.

I’m debating on disappearing from social media again because it’s hella distracting. The highlight reel is starting to consume my thoughts, validating my assumptions, and got me thinking I should be at a different place in my life. I’m a firm believer in trusting my timing but these days trust seems FAR. All of this has me considering therapy to just talk through things. My mental health is good but I don’t believe in putting my thoughts off on my friends for long periods of time. So friends, please understand my long standing silence.

Once this thing is in full effect, I’ll tell you all the other random shit I’ve done in the next few (crosses fingers) weeks. It will all make sense. Well this is life lately and I guess a short update.

What y’all been up to?

What have you Conquered today?

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