The "Stupid" Friend

Oh how I miss you! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year when it comes. I’ve been gone due to overload. I’ve been going through it for the last few weeks but I know things will get better. Most of my stresses have been draining me mentally. The biggest one happens to be from some heartbreak I’ve recently been experiencing. As I venture off into  this “mood” that has totally off tracked my days, I’ve realized something about the people I continuously speak to, ‘They ain’t shit”.  As most of us hope that we have friendships that we know can be lifelong, trusted and judgement free, were dead wrong. I’m only saying this because in my time of need, no one seems to be listening. I feel.

I’m not one of those friends, I’ll talk, take you away, answer your calls at 3 am, literally run to your rescue and prepare for the fight if need be. But I do judge. I can’t understand fully but I’ll atleast try my hardest to put myself in your shoes and listen even when you can’t stop talking about it. Why? Because your HURT. Once that is all said and done and you go back to the madness we’ll speak as if what you just been through doesn’t exist. So you’ll become “the stupid friend” because the situation isn’t relevant anymore.

In all realty, we never talk about the things that made us once happy when were mad. We speak about all the things that have us in this rage that makes us so HURT. That’s how you become “the stupid friend”. You leave out all the good details and have me believing another. I’m gulity. Are you?

This also brings me to Love and Hip Hop on vh1. Emily B. See everyone swears she’s “the stupid friend” ie: Chrissy and Olivia. But what we see in blogs, magazines, and twitter lol, doesn’t say much about the man in the home. Don’t get me wrong now, I would’ve pull a Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez on that ass already, or a Bernadine from “Waiting To Exhale”. LMAO. Yes Fab is a dog and a cheat but he’s someone else when he’s home because we don’t see or hear the nice part of him. So let’s stop judging cause we don’t know.

After today I will longer speak of the bad in a person, happy or unhappy, without the expressing of the good. Not saying that I didn’t do it with my current delimma, but not enough. And that being said anyone is clearly allowed to judge me until I do the opposite. What’s the purpose of the benefit of the doubt, if there isn’t something to back of the benefit. Being that we don’t know I’ve offically become “the stupid friend”. And my friends “they still ain’t shit” because that’s how I feel.

Are you “the stupid friend”, know “the stupid friend” or once been “the stupid friend”?


What’s in your purse?

Hey loves!!!! I’ve been sooooo gone! I apologize but work has been more then hectic! But I have to make a living some way. But its Purse Party Friday!!!!!! Get with it ladies its fun, one of my favorite blogs in her shoes is hosting it with some of her girls check it out.

This is my purse ladies…. Donney 

 Iphone wire| Headphones| Bath and Body Works country chic spray| Eucerin hand lotion| C.O.Bigelow Mint Lipgloss| Bath and Body works Coconut Hand sanitizer| My phone| Bluetooth| Dove Deodorant| Maybelline mascara| Band-aids| Maybelline Eyestudio| A stack of business cards| My job keys| My big money ticket I’ll win tonight lol| My wallet| and an umbrella| 
What’s in your purse ladies?

From a Dark girl…

In the mornings while at work, when I get the chance, I love to look at the blogs I follow and comment if I can before my boss sees me.. LOL. As my eyes scanned the page I came across A pretty review: Dark girls by Mickie Char’et from Pretty Girls Rock Dresses about the upcoming documentary called Dark Girls.

I must say this really hit home because I’m a dark girl.

Yup that’s my parents blowing out my candles on my 22nd birthday looking like 2 year old’s.
Ok now this explains why it hit home. My mother’s tone was always an issue growing up. My two other siblings are of lighter skin tones like my mother.
My Brother
My Sister

Ok now that you have a little insight on the family… My mother told me a story of when I was 2 years old when her, my brother, and I were out one afternoon, an old friend seen her with us and, the woman commented on how cute we were and then asked “Why is she so black?” After my mother responded and told her that my father and I were the same complexion and walked off.. I turned to ask my mother, “Mommy why did god color me black?”
The only thing that made me “different” was my hair and it being longer for a dark skin girl. It started young for me and although I can’t remember this, I certainly know what its like to be a woman of color. And being dark toned isn’t to be exempted because society is judgemental of all color. It’s like taboo. I don’t want my children to experience what I did when I was a child. It’s like taboo.

Stop by and Check out the review.

After a While
Veronica Shoffstall
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…

i HATE dating

Although somethings are better left unsaid but I HATE DATING!

I’ve been single for a few months. So I said I’ll start dating a little. Nothing major being that my family happens to be in love with my old beau and we have history in simple terms! So I reconnect with some would’ve been and some new guys. BIGGEST MISTAKE. See I’m not the type to ever go in my past but I should’ve known better. What was the reason why we stopped speaking again?

Earlier today I get a text saying “SO YOUR NOT GOING TO PICK UP YOUR PHONE.” … Halt, take two steps back, re-read! Now we haven’t gone on a formal date yet, nor have we had that many conversations for you to be upset about me not answering, I only have one father who can talk to me anyway he feels, and last but not least I have NO husband.

It took me TWO minutes to register what I was reading and being that I was sure that I wasn’t in a relationship. Regardless of the level of a relationship, don’t question me unless your my parent or my husband since we share our lives together. Yes we can have an argument and I’ll hang up and your calling me and I’m not answering, so you send me a text, but wait, I’m SINGLE. So who in the HELL (excuse me) are you to question me?

A lot of the blogs that I follow are married woman, and yes I adore reading them all. They give me the hope and inspiration to believe this will all stop one day, although marriage isn’t perfect (23 years: my parents). But the great part about this, although I’m clearly ignorant about the text, Thanks to HTC once again… He’s BLOCKED.  If he is like this now, what does it say about him if we were to have a relationship? Avoiding the abuse before it starts.

Any suggestions or thoughts on this, do you hate dating too?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Although I’m at work on my Thanksgiving (I gotta do what I gotta do), its an OK day for fall.

This  has to be the one thing that I love about living in New York City, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Although in all my years in NYC I’ve never physically gone to any of the parades, I can still see it on TV 🙂 . I really have a strong dislike for crowds. I can tolerate them but I avoid it as much as I can.

Like all the past years, I don’t have the turkey and stuffing in my home, but we do have the Oxtail. 🙂 I know I love my Oxtail. My parents being from the Caribbean and all, I had no choice growing up.

It isn’t all about the food like most people make it. It’s about the connection with other people. I’m big on holidays; Valentine’s, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthday, Anniversary, Cinco De Mayo, etc. LOL. Like I use to tell my previous beau, “I love you, and I know you love me, but you don’t show  me love 365 days like you should so show it on the holidays.”  Although I don’t want to make an excuse for the obvious, we don’t see our families so often so we make holidays the reason. And that’s just fine with me!

I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I’ve seen many family members disappear out of my life and it’s fine because I am truly thankful for the ones that have stayed and the new ones that have appeared. I’m blessed with all of my stresses and struggles. God gave me life and I’m living!

Happy Thanksgiving!!
What are you thankful for?

Define "HIM"?

Thanks to my job and this scheduling that they have I have the opportunity to be up at 4:30am every morning Monday thru Friday so I can get to work by 6:00 am and I say this very dry by the way -_- … But since I’m usually on the road during my hours I get the opportunity to listen to The Steve Harvey’s Morning show. And for those who actually get to hear it as well, Steve has a dating segment on the show called Locate your Love (which by the way for you Atlanta ladies he sets up alot of  dates out there) and as I happened to turn the radio on during the segment, the guy who was chosen to interview two females asked a very vague but interesting question. But don’t word me on it because it’s been hours since but just to make it simple, “How would you define a good man?”

How would I define a good man? I think personally a good man is one that takes care of his home, works his fingers to the bone to make his family comfortable, a man who is father and not a daddy, and etc… My list can go on because I’ve described my father. We sure didn’t have the best situations but it took him ten years to finally put this kitchen in..
from every tile on that floor to the cabinets on the walls (his construction skills sure did pay off, handy isn’t he), and I’m not saying this because I’m a daddy’s girl but my father’s a good man. But behind every good man there’s a good woman. She could be your mother, aunt, sister, cousin, daughter, friend, lover, domestic partnership, just know theres a support system behind every good man.

I’m a single girl so I don’t have a beau or a husband to feel this way about yet.. but I do praise the good men I know or have once dated.
How would you define a good man?