Life – Page 44

For the Soul

Every now and again, my fitness journey resurfaces. I’ll get my usual pains in the side of my neck and tingling in my legs that tell my brain to run. On Sunday, I was still able get up on the Elliptical on level 16 at a speed of 12-13 until my stomach cramped. It made me feel like the world made sense again. It’s my way of fighting the frustrations of what I can not change. Thinking about the things that I can and the things I shouldn’t accept, while losing weight and keeping up healthy habits. It brings me back to a happy and familiar place when I’m in my darkest moments, like currently.

Just merely two months into a drastic change, that I some days still can not believe happened ( for another post), I find peace in killing on the Elliptical. I’d like to say its my quite moment although I am surrounded by many.

I’m glad that I can revert to something that can bring me to a place of healing. It’s like as if it were designed for the soul.

Just one more day

I’m sitting on a couch that I’m sleeping on temporary for the past 3 weeks.

I’m frustrated.

I’m scared.

I’m lost.

I’m alone.

When you have to be strong for yourself…

Some days I wake up and I want to cry, but all the things that make me believe that it would be weak of me to do so prevents the tears.

This has been one of the toughest chapters in my life.

This has to be the loneliest I ever been. The world isn’t against me but the world is testing me.

I’m seeking a level of attention that I can’t say out loud. Instead I hide behind my attitude, my frustration, my bottled emotions.

I keep hearing it will get better but I just keep telling myself, just one more day.

Day 31 of Honesty

As this has officially been the most difficult thing to keep up with, I have tried my best and done what I said I wanted to complete in the the beginning of the month.

Everyday there was a different emotion going through my body.

I wish that everyday I would’ve been able to keep up with these post so that more of my honesty would be a lot clearer.

But for those you have taken the time to read, thank you.

Day 31 of honesty, There are more truths than 31 days.