31 Days of Honesty

Day 13 of Honesty

No Control,

I was having a conversation with a friend, and he said to me that he would stress over a lot of things he knew he had no control over. He even shared that some of his past relationships failed due to him stressing over situations that he couldn’t control. He was ready to seek differences in his self because he no longer wanted to stress about things he couldn’t control.

Just last year, I was in a place of reconstructing myself. I had been stressing over things that I truly don’t remember now. It was a lot to get around and I knew it affected my thought process, the way I carried myself, and my progress to get to my next goals.

I knew that I no longer wanted to feel this way. The things that I couldn’t control were controlling me. I despised the feeling or even the thought of all of that happening. I needed to cope with whatever the hell the issue was and that I did. I sat in silence some days and thought of all the things that I personally couldn’t do to change anything, then realized it was me, so said, so done. I had to let it all go in the universe to deal with.

A year later, and the current pain in my neck, some things still stress me but not enough to take my sanity.

Day 13 of Honesty, You just don’t have control and that is okay.

Day 12 of Honesty

Visiting Hours,

I woke up this morning wanting to say Hi to you. Just ask you if you had your tea and what did you eat for breakfast, how the weather is, and what book you’d be reading today.

Talk to you about life and how I need your wisdom. Ask you about stories that you might have experienced. Be my voice of reason. Tell me that it will be okay. Tell me that as long as I keep praying things will come together. Teach me things about the bible that you lived by. Scream, laugh, and cry with me. I miss you but heaven doesn’t have visiting hours.

It tears me to pieces to write this because it’s been some years now and yet I still can’t understand. Maybe I never will. It was your time. It’s his work. You were tired. You’re now pain free.

Today I quietly celebrate a woman that has been a part of my astonishing development. She is my angel.

Day 12 of Honesty, dream me tonight lady.

Day 11 of Honesty

Clean House,

Living on the east coast has its perks. Being from New York makes it even more exciting but the seasonal changes are what frustrate me the most. I’m born in April, so I’m a spring baby. That being said, winter and I have a love/hate relationship.

The season change calls for the PURGE! I get to throw out all that I avoided last year and whatever I assumed would fit me over time. Cleaning house usually assist with my thought process of cleaning up life as well. It’s the best way to clear the mind. You find things that make you smile, that make you frown, that make you cry, and things that make you realize that things aren’t that bad.

I work in the social services sector in a homeless shelter for single woman. Some of my things I’ll be donating to my ladies. Being able to help the next woman to advancement is why the cleaning process always helps.

If you’re in New York and would like to donate, send me an email!

Day 11 of Honesty, cleaning house for the better.