When Reality Hurts

Disa wasn’t lying when she said Good Bye’s aren’t easy.
I want to live in the moment, be happy with how things are, but this is what happens when reality hurts.
The lump of hope that sits on my heart, and the “can we try again?” that is lodged in the back of my throat, makes it harder to grasp.
I try to convince myself that I am prepared for the reality but instead the passenger sitting next to me can barely look me in my face because she is listening to me gasping for air as I hold back tears on our flight back to New York, but its evident, I need more practice.  
Although this change has been written in our script since the beginning, I haven’t quite learned to function in this role. It’s a hell of an adjustment to make, but I hope you see I’m trying. 
Learning how to accept the unknown in our Good Bye’s is the hardest part.
Here comes August…….. Lord be a Guide.

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