It’s half past 2 and I’m forcing myself to not take any sleeping pills. I’m yawning every couple of minutes because I’m tired, physically, but apparently not mentally. It didn’t occur to me that August is around the corner and it’s one of two months that’s always a transitional point for me, but I don’t think that’s what this insomnia is. One question keeps circling through my mind and simply, when’s the last time you’ve been relaxed?
It feels selfish to be this relaxed. To be this calm and yet focused on absolutely nothing all at once, while the world is burning (literally). I don’t know if I deserve to not be worried about the future or to sit in this moment during the present. It’s an odd place to be but necessary.
Let’s have a conversation, when’s the last time you’ve been relaxed?