I woke up before my alarm went off, made the bed, had my tea ready, put my clothes that were hung on the drying rack away, managed to get dress, and out the door before 7:55 AM. This was an unusual morning because I snooze until 7:00 AM and out the door by 8:31 AM. Today I was one of the millions of people who woke up in pure sadness over Nip’s death. I literally talked myself through my emotions on my commute to work. I was cursing up a storm (under my breath not at anyone to clarify) for the simplest things but was able to say I was unhappy. I barely ate, drank more crap than water, took a long walk for lunch, completed more task than I had in over a week. I left at exactly 5:03 PM, Home at 6:10 PM, entered the gym at 6:35 PM until 7:20 PM. I needed to work this bad energy off.
I’ll expound more in my YEAR30 post, but I’ve been working on managing my emotions more over the last year. Shutdown, screaming, microaggressions – cannot clarify what words can. Today was really heavy and it played into other emotions. Things not worthy of discussion here but important enough to realize that feelings are temporary and normal. Although this may not pass as fast as I want, I can choose how to manage my emotions.
If you’re feeling heavy too, hoping your tomorrow will be better.
3 thoughts on “Heavy”
I didn’t know much about Nipsey Hussle until after his death. After seeing how many people were (and still are) affected by his death, and hearing about how good of a person he was, I decided to do some research. I have to admit that after reading about him and his accomplishment, I felt a level of hurt that I’ve never felt towards a person that I never knew. We lost a good man. It’s going to take a while to recover from this.
It will take a long time. But in honor of his kindness we shall continue to carry his legacy. It’s still heavy.