Safety

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I purchased that grey acrylic chair through a craigslist ad back when I was rooming. I had no business buying another piece of furniture while living in that room but I couldn’t say no to it. I contacted the seller, jumped in my car, drove to Brooklyn, placed my new chair in the back seat, picked up some flowers from a farmer’s market in that neighborhood, went home and spent almost 3 hours figuring out where I wanted to place my chair. I placed my chair in the corner of my room, next to a window that seemed to be the perfect spot. That summer I spent most of my afternoons in that chair thinking and drinking a cup of tea. Those months were filled with confusion, pain, transition, love, forgiveness, sacrifice, and lots of patience. That chair became a space to reconnect.

This year I’ve battled sacrifice, choosing peace, grieving, forgiveness, nature or nurture, but most of all the perception of strength. My exterior says I’m strong but I’m sensitive asf. Although I am very resilient, it comes with a lot of scars, revaluation, tears, and vulnerability. Now that I am in my studio apartment, all by myself, when the day has ended and the morning after the storms’ come, I still make a cup of tea, sit in my acrylic chair, assess, evaluate, revaluate, ask for assistance, and pray.

I think it’s important to have a safe space. My chair has become a safe space. Whenever I’m in doubt, confused, vulnerable, or needing to pray, I sit in my chair.

Do you have a safe space?

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6 thoughts on “Safety”

  1. I think if I didn’t, I would have been committed a long time ago. I have a chair in my mom cave and when I need a moment, I retreat there, close the doors, turn on some music and drift. Although there are many more times where I just sit in silence with a blanket and some piping hot tea. I’ve been trying to do better about getting out of my bed and out of my room to see if it’ll help with my mood. I think it does.

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