This is honest so bear with me. Looking through my prior post this year, it appears that I’m depressed.
Honestly, truly, in my Joanne voice, I’m not.
Between my love life, my career goals, trying to finish school no later then Fall of 2017; I’m stressed, disappointed, hurt, and ready to move to Jamaica and say Fuck this. But the way my prayer is set up and my resilience is set up, I’m going to get through this.
I am human. So yes, shit happens and feelings happen. Through it all, we re-read old chapters, we try to end current ones, and be brave enough to start new ones. Here I am, trying to start a new one, all while re-discovering my peace. You know, the things that once made you happy.
Well first things first, I’ve been on a social media break since August. Not from my @sheconquered_ Instagram account but my personal ones. My personal Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat accounts have been logged off. Social media has a way of fooling me into believing the lies that people tell. Yes, I am guilty of this. It seems as if people have it together. I know that it’s a lie but I have been caught up in what’s been happening in everyone’s world that I forget that there is a story behind it. I have a story too but I’m not the sharing type. Maybe I’ll post a selfie or where I was for the day, or what I’m eating, but I choose not to discuss work, school, or relationship statuses. It’s no one’s business but mine, I’d rather not, and if I were shameless enough to let it out, you all would feel sorry for me.
Taking a break from social media allows for the pressure of the world to subside a little. At my age, it seems like so much should be happening, and it’s straight up bullshit. I should be traveling more, I should be partying more, and because I am 27 years old and less than a year away from 28, I should be taking engagement photos and discussing baby names with my spouse. NO, I do not want a husband or a baby or to own a home (these current days make it hard to own one anyway) right now, so let me work on myself at the moment without the pressure. If God’s plan is for me to marry the man who I think is the love of my life, have a beautiful chocolate baby, and own a home with a garden, then it will happen, for now, no rush. Shutting down my social media accounts allow for me to focus on myself.
Try it, it’s refreshing. Step one in rediscovering my peace is taking this break. I feel lighter. I’m not sure when I will resurface again, but when I do, some changes will be made.