What’s Going Well?

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I am sitting in front of my computer trying to figure out how to start this post and that is a problem. Why? Because I promised myself that nothing will be forced. So instead of over thinking I’ll make this simple.

My anxiety was at an ALL TIME HIGH in January because nothing is new. I have only been continuing my work that I started in 2017. Due to life’s many changes, a lot had resurfaced in January that I had to deal with head on. Let’s just say for the start of February, I’m better.

My previous commissioner of my department would start our staff meetings with “What’s going well”. Taking some notes from her book, instead of focusing on the bad/indifferent, I’ll talk about what’s going well.

School

The countdown begins and I was able to complete a course that I kinda ignored majority of the semester within two weeks. Now imagine if I had managed my time more effectively and completed the course in the beginning of the semester instead? Whatever, it’s done. I’m in the hardest part of completing this degree because I’ll be between 6 courses until June. It is February, so before you know it, I’ll be done. I’m super excited and starting my grad school research but pray for me because we’re not done yet.

Work

It seemed like every Thursday (which is my Friday) was stressing me out. My supervisor’s leadership style sucks and due to the conflict that I experience with her and others due to ageism (that’s for another post), they are teaching me about the communication skills the “love of my life” had been fussing with me about for YEARS! More about listening and clarification. Things come in full circle and I’m glad that it’s happening now because I will officially transfer into a new department in a few weeks where I will be utilizing what I had to learn. GROWTH.

Love

It’s there and it’s challenging as hell. We’re taking this to GOD. This is for another post too.

Travel

I’ll be somewhere every month until May. I went on my secret trip that isn’t so much of a secret but due to the parties involved, I’ll ask permission to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth; ONE DAY. Two international trips scheduled and ready for departure! I cannot wait to post in March!

Until then, what’s going well?

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I don’t own J’s

If you can figure out where I was in the photo above, shout out to you, but I’m not telling. Yes, one of my secret trips that I refuse to talk much about because it’s either a good one or a bad one. This last trip was good until _______________, happy I went though. The weather was great, the food was decent, the company is always amazing, but reality finds it way in every time.
The first week of my return, I was in my feelings. I didn’t make my bed, I had a pile of trash in my kitchen, I didn’t open the blinds, and nearly killed one of my plants that almost dried up. Once I realized this, I got up and got my shit together. Feel what you need to feel but NEVER stay “there” for long.
In this lesson, I learned another reason why I love plants. There’s something about keeping my plants alive that reminds that in life, everythingneeds watering and time to grow.
I’m gearing up for the summer, I’ll have so much free time that it’s scary. I’ll be reading a lot of books and hopefully traveling. I may attend a wedding in California this July or randomly go to another city/state on my list (ATL, Texas, New Orleans, Cali) of options.
I’m working on a minimalism post. I found myself becoming very minimal since living in my current apartment and I’m excited to share my transition in a few weeks to come.

One more random day trip to close out April in a few days, here comes MAY, it will be a good one!

Hotels make me tired

It’s the ending of the semester and I’m stressed. I’m stressed because of a course  that I’m not fond of. Why? Because it doesn’t interest me, it was completely my choice to take so I shouldn’t be so upset about it, and I need the credits.

I’m a few days shy of my 28th birthday. Although I’m not celebrating, my college gave me a travel award and a two night stay in Albany, NY to attend a wellness conference. I took it and decided to call it a celebration. Instead of utilizing the time to do the activities at the conference, my body went into shut down. I slept like a baby for most of the first day. I needed the sleep since the last couple of weeks my sleep pattern had been off. But there’s something about a night in a hotel that changes everything. 

While I waited to call a taxi so I can transport out of Albany back to New York City, I’m had this awful garden salad, with all kinds of extra shit, and some of the vegetables were old. 

As I gear up for the upcoming birthday, I thinking about all the post I’d like to get in this month. I’ve been working on my Minimalist post, my journey to minimalism. Just something to share in my twenty something years I guess. 
How do you feel about hotels and what’s on the agenda for April?

Chicago: Not in Pictures

Life has been good.
I have God, I have food, I have a home, and I have a job.
BUT, I needed a reset.
So, I jumped online and started to search around for flight prices. I contemplated Atlanta because my friend that I’ve been trying to visit all summer of 2016 is there, but Atlanta didn’t quite make it for me. I considered Cincinnati because I was trying to move to Ohio at some point last year but that didn’t quite make the cut either. Hmmm, Chicago? At under $200 round trip and a hotel for about the same price, under $400 for a mini trip, I’m gamed. Usually, I hear the warmer weather option choice but I wanted to experience the windy city COLD. It’s unusual because I’m not fond of the cold and I’m a New York City resident, so I should be use to it already, right? Nah.
I barely told anyone because I wanted to do this on my own and people would invite themselves on my trip, which happened once people found out I wasn’t in New York. I packed my cute blue duffle by Wednesday, so I was prepped to leave first thing Friday morning, but due to a little bit of snow, my flight was canceled. Stressed as all hell, I contacted Delta and my hotel to make arrangements to extend my trip. All went well and I was on time for departure Saturday morning.
Okay, I’ll make this simple, It’s a very clean and pretty city, lots of steak restaurants or whatever (Issa Voice), BUT I wouldn’t visit again. Only if I marry someone who has family in Chicago or for business. I don’t mean to disrespect anyone’s city, but we all have opinions.

So yeah, that’s my February so far. 
Have you visited Chicago, if so what did you like or dislike about the windy city?

Currently: The WeekEnd

With all the drastic unplanned yet unmentioned things that have happened within the month, I want nothing more than to run away. There are things I can control and others I cannot. So I’m trying to limit the stress levels by accepting the things that I cannot control. Baby steps.
I’m typing this while sitting at a window seat on the Amtrak returning to Penn Station feeling melancholy about my return home. This is nothing new, whenever I’m returning home after traveling, I feel the same. But what I’ve learned in just a few hours is that, giving yourself space and exposure is necessary.
I attended a conference this weekend that I chose to participate in. I met a lot of amazing people, learned some new skills, shared my world a little, and slept like a baby in the king size bed that was reserved for me!
What I took away from the weekend:
Take a train ride, its amazing!
Put yourself out there!
No one knows your story but you, you’ll win and you’ll lose, but its YOUR Story. You define your success.
Live your truth!
Choose to be happy!

This was a good weekend. How was your weekend?

YEAR 27: JAMAICA

For months I delayed purchasing my ticket to go to Jamaica because I had much more important things I could do with the money. But as the time got closer, my mind needed a reset. Vacation always puts me in reset mode. I was nervous about the whole thing because I had not been there in almost 8 years. The last time, I was burying family. Jamaica was like that for me between the years of 2006 to 2008. I no longer wanted to go back to the place my parents call home because it was always a funeral. The thought of Jamaica made me cringe. However, this year, I wanted to get over my fear of going back. Apart of that fear was burying my grandmother in 2007. I loved her dearly. And every time I’d arrive and leave Jamaica, we would always pass where she was laid to rest. I remember the last time I was there in 2008 and how I could not breathe as we drove closer to the cemetery. It was something I no longer wanted to experience. But I needed to visit her and say hello because I was unsure if I’d have the time again or if I had finally outgrown that fear. Lets just say, seeing her again, healed me. I had experience a lot over the year and needed this more than I thought. I wasn’t able to say good bye again but I got to say hello. It started my trip on a good note, kinda.

I went back home to my father’s parish in Jamaica. The beautiful parish of Portland. It’s natural beauty is one to see. I never seen the beauty until this visit. Above from left to right, I wrote year 27 in the sand at Frenchmen’s Cove beach, below is the Trident castle (I dare you to google this and look at the wedding packages, its a dream! Maybe mister right might agree to those prices), the Blue lagoon is 65 feet deep and he had to drag my ass out that water, and below I enjoyed the swing at Frenchmen’s cove beach that was connected to a small river. 

Here from left to right, was our tour guide as we rafted around the Blue lagoon, the day we stopped by a local beach and I needed this photo to remind me that New York beaches are filthy because in JA I could see my toes!, and I went to a resort on my birthday and enjoyed the all inclusive amenities in Ocho Rios.

The top photo, I took as we were driving to Ocho Rios, below, from left to right, I was sitting on the veranda enjoying a cup of tea at 6:00 AM as it lightly rained as it does in Portland, my two friends who came to experience this trip with me, and right before I turned 27 years old on April 11th, I went into the town at a karaoke lounge with my friends and were talking to those guys across the street. 
What I did learn on this trip was that I am patient. Things that would cause me internal strife and anxiety, didn’t really occur on this trip like I assumed. Some problems happened being that I stayed at my house, but I took it well. The trip was fun but this may be my official last girls get away. Well, there’s is the bachelorette getaway coming next year for my best friend, but I’ll be set up in a different way so I don’t have to deal with any form of drama, like on other girls trips in prior years. I’m currently working on a baeaction! Jamaica is romantic. I met a couple from Brooklyn that were staying at a treehouse by the Blue Lagoon. I was jealous, I won’t lie. So I’m working on it. I’d like to go on another romantic getaway. Its fun. After this trip, I will be returning to Jamaica. I’ll attempt at making it a once a year trip but I usually only go away once a year because I’m adulting and I have somethings to take care of for my future that I am currently putting together. 
My heart is getting what it wanted, as I addressed in my Transitional Phase post. I went for a second round interview that I was praying for. School is coming together. I’m transitioning into my career very well. All the previous jobs have aligned this year which makes me happy. And I feel good. I have some amazing people in my life. I’m excited about some of the opportunities that are coming my way. I’ve been healing from all the disappointment I was facing last year. I’m proud of where I am. I’m allowing time to happen.  
Toast to an amazing start, #year27