I will not…..

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January 2018, Union Square Park

Can you believe it’s almost May? I can’t believe it either because it feels like fall in New York City. I cannot wait to take my talents to the south so I can enjoy the warmer climate. But about April…..

I celebrated my 29th birthday with my family and a few close friends. I think cutting cake became a family tradition a few years ago if birthdays were during the week, so it was only right to invite too many people this year in my tiny studio apartment for cake. I wasn’t the happiest at the start of my day but the love was felt by the end.

I’ve been in crunch time mode this month trying to finish up a couple classes and adjusting my time management at work. Goal number two is on the way and I need to find the motivation to keep pushing through. Look out for me June 7th.

Scrolling through Instagram stories, one of my favorite bloggers expressed that she felt sad and realized that she was still grieving the loss of her mother. She continued to express that it was okay to be sad, cry, or be in a funk because it’s part of the process. This resonated with me because I too am grieving. The loss of my grandmother still triggers me, a recent break up has me completely torn, and an old friend died a week ago during heart surgery; I’m grieving.

The biggest assumption about me is that I am strong, but I feel too. I feel a lot more than I want to and sometimes I sacrifice more of myself to comfort others so I appear strong. Today I am proclaiming that I am currently weak. And there is nothing wrong with being weak, I’m okay being weak. I took my ass to a therapist and asked for help to become stronger again because I am feeling right now. I may or may not be quite in May but I most definitely will be much better, THANKS to my bomb ass therapist!

Thanks to my Friend Kenny: Amanda means “Will not Fall” in Igbo.

Affirming: “I WILL NOT FALL”

How was your April and what are you anticipating for May?

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NY to MD

July was a cool month. A little travel here and there but worth it. Simply enjoying the sun hit my skin is all I need to enjoy the summer. This month was filled with amazing events in New York City. Many that I missed because of last minute planning with other events and vice versa. Wish I were cloned so I could be in multiple places at once. Here are a few things I was able to capture a moment of in July.

CURLFEST

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The Curly Girl Collective’s CURLFEST 2017 was AMAZING. I wasn’t able to lounge for long but it was fun for the time being. I call it black girl appreciation day. All that melanin in one place was pure LOVE.  Besides the NSBE conference I attended a few years ago, and Essence street style block party, CURLFEST was out here in Brooklyn creating melanin memories. It’s great to have such representation. One of the best moments for me was seeing daughters and their mothers, young girls need to see how we come in all shades and what we represent. I’ll be there next year prepared with a cooler filled with water, wine, and food. Continue reading “NY to MD”