In this moment, I would rather be curled up with the person I love because they smell good and it just feels like the safest space to be on Earth but I am gathering the words to type this post. I don’t know what to say or where to start, but here I am. Continue reading “Nothing has changed but my weight”
I started this post in another post riding the train about a week ago. But the other post didn’t feel right. Not that it was forced, but more about it not really delivering what I wanted to say. I think that December put me in an awkward space beginning with my brother’s wedding. You know that you’re getting older when your immediate family starts getting married and stuff. I finally experienced what most people hate; the “Are you next?” question. My parents and friends think that I’m secretive about my dating life but it’s more about the lack of dating and the confusion I choose to experience with my ex. So, I am not bringing him home or anyone else until I am sure or convinced enough that somebody actually wants my ass. After the wedding, I became lazy at work, which means, it’s time to go. I don’t hate my job, I just wish I were in a more fulfilling position. Next, school was physically bussing my ass and still is. Lastly, over the last few years my parents and I have not been in the best space and this causes me anxiety. The holidays make me sad because I am not happy with them, their poor decisions, and I am sacred as life keeps ticking because I feel the pressure of providing for them and I don’t have a family yet. Y’all, I am stressed out right now. Continue reading “This is about 2017”
There were nights I didn’t have dinner. There were days I didn’t have a dollar. But there were friends who feed me, and provided what they could. I thought I was losing out on fun because of the lack of funds. Although, I started a new job with a higher salary than my last. Things were difficult but it was a change that I am happy about. I needed it. And this is only the beginning.